"Hello beautiful girl"

"hello"

"How are you doing? Hope fine i guess. It is my pleasure sending you this little line of mine and hope you can find it in your heart to reciprocate this lovely gesture. I am just like a little kid in the presence of sunlight when i look at the radiance of your beauty. In fact, you are magnificently sculptured and crafted next to angels and everything about you invite me to cherish you the more. I can see the true beauty of a real lady that you are and i feel you worth emailing. I thought we may share some similar interests and I would love to learn more about you.. I love to be fun and spontaneous and enjoy each day finding something joyful to smile about. Hope to read from you soonest and have a lovely day ahead of you."

"thank you"

"Thanks for the mail and i am very glad to actually read from you. Its really my pleasure to read this email from you and i hope that i will read more from you . here is just a brief about myself and i hope that you get back to me as well,i am a very down to earth with a great passion for life and i love to love and being loved.i am sincere, open inded, matured and above all,God fearing.. So, do not think i have it all cuz we are all humans ok..I want you to get back to me and let me know the kind of a person you are and what you are actually looking for so i may know if we can actually get started.I needed a sincere, matured,intelligent and trustworthy lady that truly know what he is looking for.someone that will make me feel great and make me feel like a complete..I basically believe,that trust is the foundation of great relationships and that the race of excellence has no finish line.I love to read but even more importantly i love to listen,because listening is by far the most important communication skill.I also believe that love is patient,love is kind.It does not envy,it does not boast,it is not proud.It is not rude and not self-seeking.It is not easily angered and it keeps no records of wrong.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. I need to meet a person with similar views to life.I would prefer to communicate with people in all walks of life.To end it all,i want you to please say something about you and your lifestyle.i can send you more picture of me to you via mail if you want it.have a great time and a beautiful day ahead of you."

I couldn't even respond after this second message he sent. I'm sure he just cuts and pastes these messages and sends them to all his potential "mates", but seriously, when is enough, enough?
Call me old fashioned, but I never really got into the online dating thing. Sure, I have a blackplanet, a facebook, and a myspace account, but I enjoy these for many reasons that have nothing to do with dating. Some examples include, reconnecting with old friends, as well as finding people all over the globe with similar interests (all my Wu-heads, STAND UP). It's quite often I get emails from guys who "display interest in me", but this previous post was a bit much for me. What do you think?

Labels: dating, men, online, relationships

Since when did it become an aspiration to be a man's "Baby Momma" or "Bust it baby?" Whatever happened to wanting to be someone's other half, or someone's wife. Ladies, hear me out, you are setting yourselves up to be disrespected when you see yourself as nothin more than some niggaz "jump-off"! Then, when he cheats on you, or some other chick calls you, YOU have the nerve to be upset, hurt, disappointed, let down, even surprised. Well, if you don't see yourself as anything more than a "bust-it-baby", then why should he?

I inspire to be so much more than just some niggaz "main chick"... feel me? I'm trying to build a future. I'm trying to carry myself respectively, so my children have a solid foundation to grow on. I inspire to be loved unconditionally... I inspire to be, me.

Labels: cheating, dating, men, relationships, women

As you may be aware from reading a couple of my past blogs, lately I have been struggling with a difficult decision I made in my past. This decision caused me to lose someone who was VERY dear to me. While reflecting on my past actions and wishing I handled things differently, I suddenly had an epiphany... I CAN NOT CHANGE THE PAST! I truly can not continue beating myself up for my past actions, all I can do at this point is learn from them, and allow them to make me a better person; daughter, grand daughter, sister, lover, friend. Rather than second guess my actions, I can use the experience to think rationally before making future decisions. Most importantly, I realized rather than sulk and mourn about who I lost, I should use that energy to cherish and value those who are CURRENTLY in my life, and demonstrate my affection to the fullest. So, to all my friends and family: I want to say thank you for listening to me and for providing an outlet for me to vent. I love you all and I will be sure to take the time to show it.
With that being said, I will forgive my heart for my past decisions and move forward with my "romantic life" (which is currently a work in progress, stay tuned)!
<3 Peace & Love

Labels: broken-heart, dating, love

Remember how much we LOVED Faith?

Folks, I NEED SOME FREAKIN CLOSURE!!!

Labels: dating, faith evans, memories, music

I just got a call from a New York cell phone, but I was on the phone with my BF in Australia and didn't click over...

Was it you?
CALL ME BACK!
xo

Labels: dating

Yep, it's true! I was born in the hood, I've seen my share of roaches and had my share of fried bologna sandwiches. Yep, I came from a family which BOTH parents were drinking, drugging and God knows what else, so I was raised by my great-grandmother until she passed away, then my grandma raised me. Yep, I LOVE baked macaroni and cheese, collard greens and I put Hot Sauce on EVERYTHING! Yes, I've smoked my share of blunts, and seen and felt a real gun. Yes, I use the "N" word when I talk, I LOVE Hip Hop (_WU-TANG FOREVER_) and my weave game is TIGHT!!! That being said...

DON'T LABEL ME AS GHETTO, there's SO much more to me than that.

Yep, I made the decision to move out of the hood after high school and go to college. I walked off campus 4 years later with a Bachelor's Degree, and I have a GREAT job at the Children's Hospital. Yes, my best friend is a "white girl", and my closest friends in college, MANY of whom I still speak to are white. Yep, I love to shop, shoes and accessories are my weakness, and I LOVE sushi. That being said...

DON'T LABEL ME AS BOURGEOIS (pronounced: buji, or booshie), there's SO much more to me than that.

Yep, I had my share of "relationships". Some very meaningful, some not. Some as long as 8 years, some as short as 1 night. Yes, I do possess a certain skill that can make a man's toes curl and ALMOST make him lose consciousness. I've dated thugs, criminals, and straight-laced white guys. I've had my heart broken, and I've broken a heart or 2 as well. That being said....

DON'T LABEL ME AS A HOE, because trust me boo, I am far from it.

So there you have it. There are so many aspects of me, so stop trying to fit me into a neat little category. Ok??

Labels: about me, dating, memories

Officially deleted from myspace and facebook. Sorry, boo, but I can't deal with the immaturity.
L.I.P. (Live in peace)

Labels: dating

"Every time I have a dream about him, the dream is different, but the precise is always the same..."

Rasharn was my first love, actually, he was my first for pretty much everything. I met him when I was 16. He was a thug, a STRAIGHT hustla who lived in Boston and me, I was a quiet, shy girl from the hood in Springfield. Long story short, while visiting family in Boston we met. It took awhile for cupid to "assassinate" me, but when he did, it was OVER. To say I fell head over heels is an understatement. I loved him with every inch of my soul... His street slang, drug dealing, block huggin ways, and my shy, virginal (literally), book smart, around the way girl "charm" was completely opposite but it worked! We often compared ourselves to Jay Z and Beyonce, especially seeing how people did not understand how the two of us loved each other so...

This relationship carried on for 8 years. Between fights, him doing time off and on, Rasharn and I tried to maintain what we perceived as a "healthy" relationship. About 4 years ago, I had a wake up call, and I abruptly ended things with him. I applauded myself for being able to turn my back and not cave in. It was so cold and calculated, which was something he truly wasn't used to. Now, I am being haunted by dreams of him... and when I dream of Rasharn, I can count on the fact that I am going to dream about him consistently for at least 2 weeks. In EVERY single dream, I run into him somewhere, and I say to him "I am so glad I finally ran into you and I'm not dreaming"... then I wake up. Once I realize I actually was dreaming, I am left with this gut-wrenching, empty feeling that I can not even translate into words. It KILLS me...

Sharnee, if you are out there, I guess I just wanna say, I stand by the decision I made, but I truly orchestrated it in the wrong way. With ALL we been through, I should have never turned my back on you the way I did. You taught me how to love, laugh and most important, you taught me how to toughen up. I am waiting for that day when I DO run into and I don't wake up in a cold sweat. I just want to know if you're ok and wish you and your son (who I recently found out you have) well. I remember when you said you didn't deserve me because you thought I was too good for you, but you were wrong. We BOTH made mistakes and we could have taken the time and effort to sort things out, but I took that option away from you. Rasharn, I will ALWAYS have a place in my heart for you, and again, hopefully you and I will cross paths, and when we do, it will TRULY be a dream come true.

P.S. Rasharn is indeed his real name, I decided not to change it. I am off to go to bed in a few... let's see what I dream about.

Labels: about me, beyonce, broken-heart, dating, dreams, jay-z, memories, music, wu tang clan

Needy men are like....

Seriously, I see them coming, and I run in the other direction... With that being said, don't be surprised when I not longer answer your calls, I've said all I have to say...

Labels: dating, men, relationships

He hit me up recently to "declare his interest". I KNOW it's gonna crash and burn, but what can I say, I love a "gangsta"...

P.S. He's a rapper in one of my FAVORITE HIP HOP groups! If it really is him, it should be an interesting adventure...

Labels: dating, hiphop

What the hell is wrong with "boys"? Please note, when I say boys, I'm not talking about real men who know what they want... I'm talking about immature guys who misrepresent themselves as "grown men". I just don't get it. Guys ALL the time a dogging women out for being gold-diggers, indecisive, easy, independant, prude, etc., but let's take a step back and REALLY look at the situation for what it's worth.

Remember my friend Mr. L? The guy who took me to the Via Matta (an expensive Italian restuarant)? Well, now, since he took me there, he thinks he owns me. Now, I am supposed to be ready at his beckoned call to just "be avail".... it only took him 3 days to point it out. He and I went out on the Thursday, that weekend I went away to visit my grandma and dad, and by Sunday, the following was in my inbox:

"WHERE IS THE LOVE>? take you on a dateski, and then no love, for "Mr L", i even tried talking to you since then and called you and all that. now im gonna cry. :-( "

Ummmm... I talked to him that Friday morning, and I let him know that I was gonna be 100 miles away visiting my family. Plus, I can't even remember how many times I said thank you, and I really was very appreciative!

With that, I decided maybe I will return the favor and take him out to one of my favorite restuarants, he won't let me, because he doesn't want me to pay. Instead, his suggestion was I take him to Wendy's... WENDY'S!!!! WTF!!!!!! The irony of this whole story is, he didn't even pay when he took me out a few weeks ago, it was a COMPLIMENTARY DINNER FOR TWO!!! But I guess by making the decision to sit down and share a five course meal with a friend, I sold my soul to the DEVIL.... the immature Devil, which is actually worse than the real one (because he has a Wendy's fetish apparently).

Labels: dating, men, relationships

Nothing serious... just talking a bunch of smack... but the point is, he called, and I only had to wait 6 days! I STILL have his hat too (which I made it a point to remind him, lol), let's see when he will come by to pick it up.

Labels: dating, men, relationships

I have learned the hard way, that a woman's heart was mechanically built to withstand and absorb PAIN... it's TRULY my greatest strength, and my strongest weakness...

Labels: dating, love, relationships, women

I am just a simple girl who is IN LOVE with a great song! I'm a bit messy, but I can top clean "just enough" to make my place look SPOTLESS! I am very shy, until I have my second glass of wine, or my first martini. I am a romantic at heart with a WILD imagination. I'm still working on my cooking skills, but in the meantime, I have officially been crowned the "Queen of Takeout". I LOVE to have a guy sleep in my bed, but I don't really like to "snuggle" while I'm sleeping (stay on your side, lol). A guy who can make me laugh is such a turn on. I LOVVVVVVVVE to kiss, there is something so intimate about it, and I do it SOOOO well. I'm kinda clumsy, but in a cute, trip-up-the-stairs sorta way. I love to have a guy lay his head in my lap, look up and just talk to me... and, my last lesson for the night is.... I love and envy a man with confidence....

Labels: about me, dating, love, men, relationships

I don't know what my problem is, but lately, all I wanna do is SLEEP!!! Is it the cool weather? Am I lacking some Vitamins? I GOT nothin!!

Well, I have a date tomorrow with Mr L. We're going to a lecture and then a fancy shmancy Italian restaurant. Mr L is 5 years younger and can be a bit "flaky", but we'll see what tomorrow evening brings. No worries, nothing intimate, just good times and probably plenty of laughs, besides.... Mr R still has to come by and get his hat (haha)

Labels: dating, men, relationships

So, I'm laying in bed reminiscing about Saturday night w/ Mr R. I truly had a good time and needless to say, I was "on"! I feel as though our "encounter" ended well the next afternoon (ha ha), and right now I am leaving the ball in his court. Since I've dealt with Mr. R in the past, I kinda know his M.O. when it comes to the "day after". I pretty much know I'm not going to hear from him right away. I am even at the point right now where if I don't hear from him in a week or so, I don't sweat it. I DO know that once he DOES come around, we have nothing but good laughs, good vibes, good food, good convo, good drinks, good "love", and good sleep after. But being 28, I feel like I'm at a fork in the road, should I be looking for something more substantial, or do I just kick back and enjoy the spontaneity of our reckless/fun engagements? I can almost say with confidence that this last visit impressed him as well.
He seemed quite different the morning after; more kind, more talkative, open (he even stayed longer than normal, watched football and had leftover Chinese Food for lunch)... it was nice and quite refreshing to see him in this different light. I truly wonder what the next few weeks will bring... I haven't heard from him since he left Sunday, but he left his hat.

Labels: about me, dating, men, relationships